• “He who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19 (Keeps a person from putting their foot in their mouth.)
• “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 (Harsh words can pierce someone’s heart, but wise words will bring healing to a relationship.)
  
• “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (A soft answer makes it easier for the listener to hear what is actually being said rather than reacting to harsh words or a harsh voice.)
• “A person finds joy in giving an appropriate reply, and how good is a timely word.” Proverbs 15:23 (The right words said at the right time are good, and we can be happy about it. Sometimes we need to wait for the right time to say certain things.)
• “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” Proverbs 16:21 (Want to instruct someone or help them understand what you mean? Use pleasant words to get your point across.)
• “A word appropriately spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11 (Words that are appropriate are going to be thought out, not a just a spur of the moment reaction that will stir up anger.)
• “A gentle tongue can break a bone.” Proverbs 25:15 (A gentle tongue is not weak. A gentle answer can accomplish a lot.)

Everybody needs it, everybody wants it whether they realize it or not, and it’s the kind of love that lasts…unconditional love. It’s the kind of love that says, “I love you no matter what.” This kind of love is crucial for a marriage. Marriage is not always easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort put into it. As parents, we must have that unconditional love for our kids, especially during the teenage years when peer pressure is so intense and maybe on some days self-esteem is low. If a teenager knows that mom and dad will always be there and value them, always love them even though they don’t like their action sometimes, then that gives a sense of stability. And unconditional love gives just that…a sense of stability…no matter what happens!

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Have you thought about what you want for Valentine’s Day so that you can give a subtle hint to someone, or maybe there is a special person in your life that you want to show just how much they mean to you? I suggest checking out 1-800-Flowers.com. They are the number one online florist and recently were named to Internet Retailer’s “Best of the Web Top 50 Retail Sites” list for seven years in a row. They have all kinds of beautiful flowers such as roses and tulips, plants, candy, teddy bears, gift baskets, and even organic fruit gift baskets. They also have “Gifts for Him.” Check their site to learn about same day hand delivery of the freshest flowers and finest plants and gifts available.

With Valentine’s Day just a little over two weeks away, a lot of people are thinking about love this time of year. What makes love last? For one thing, it takes total commitment. I know a lot of people (relatives and people from church) who have been married over 50 years. That’s inspirational!

Jude at Beauty Denominator has changed some of her views about matrimony. Click here to read her thoughts on the subject.

Marriage is a total commitment, a commitment based on love. TV would have us think that if someone gets tired of their marriage or their marriage isn’t working, then they can just simply get a divorce and find someone new. That’s not what marriage is meant to be. It’s design is that it lasts a lifetime, that it’s based on unconditional love (the type of love that says I love you even when things aren’t going so well), and that each person gives 100%…not just 50%. When each person commits to giving 100%, then on a day when things aren’t going right and one person only gives 50% or less, then the other person makes up for it and vice versa. It works both ways. Each gives the other some slack and tries to be understanding. And on days when each is giving 100%, then those days are truly what marriage is meant to be.  It takes commitment and work to make a great marriage.  It doesn’t happen without effort.  And anything worthwhile is definitely worth the effort.  

We have some friends who often end up on a golf course when they go on vacation. They went to Hawaii before and, of course, they ended up on a golf course. They said it was beautiful because they could see the ocean. They both have sets of golf clubs and probably golf shoes . Golfing is something they enjoy doing together even though she’s not an avid golfer like her husband. And that’s one thing that is important for couples to do, to find something that they enjoy doing together.

Good marriages don’t just happen. They require commitment and determination. They require giving 100%. Couples need to think of themselves as a team. A football team works together, and even though there are different positions, they have a common goal. That’s the way it should be for a couple…a goal to make their marriage work. And it does take work in the sense of assessing the strengths and weaknesses of the marriage and working on strengthening the weak areas. Couples must take time to do this and not forget the things that brought them together in the first place. Friendship needs to be kept alive. They need to go out on dates, keep fun in their marriage, and remember all the good things about their spouse that attracted them in the first place. Anything worthwhile in our lives requires commitment, and marriage is definitely worth it! And it’s definitely worth praying about and asking God to bless our marriage and help us be the kind of spouses we should be!

Four years ago this month, our daughter and son-in-law were married. Wow, how fast time flies! Now they have a brand new addition to their family, “Baby J.” Soon they will be celebrating their wedding anniversary, but this time as new parents. I also remember back four years ago, and I was having to have a root canal done about this time. Of all times to have a root canal…right in the middle of the last stage of wedding preparations when things are hectic. I was so thankful, though, that my pain was alleviated and that I wasn’t having to have a root canal done the day of the wedding rehearsal. Wouldn’t that have been a crazy day! LOL

In a study of families, these are a few of the qualities that help to make families strong:

1.) Spend time together as a family. This might be a family outing, playing a favorite game together, or whatever the family enjoys.

2.) Have good communication patterns with lots of talking & listening. Listening and trying to understand are really important.

3.) Express appreciation to one another. Don’t take one another for granted.

4.) Have a sense of commitment to one another. Work as a team.

5.)  Support each other’s efforts.  If someone in the family has a game, concert, or some special event, then go and support that person.